self-development, Yoga

Self-trust

I’ve had a wrist injury 10 years ago. It made me quit playing the violin and made me lose trust in my body. I didn’t even realize – only in hindsight – that this injury made me feel weak, that it made me think my body is not capable of things I didn’t even consider twice, before the injury. I remember avoiding putting weight on it, even avoiding using my left hand, if not absolutely necessary.
Even after I’ve recovered, that pattern stuck with me.
I’ve started practicing yoga a while after my injury and I’ve always avoided arm balances, handstands and everything that could drain my wrists. I always wanted to do crows and wheels, but only practiced half-heartedly. And I also realized, that I used this injury as an excuse. I was hiding behind it, for it is easier to say ‘my body doesn’t allow me to do this’, than ‘Hey, I’m new to this and I’m not good at it’ or even ‘I’m not new to this, but I’m not good at it’. I was fascinated by that insight, and of course a little bit ashamed of it as well.
And than there came a turning point, about half a year ago. Mid practice, I decided that I no longer wanted to be the victim of those patterns, of my past, of my thought-carousel. I allowed myself to be a beginner, to be not good at it, to fail and fall (over and over again).
And eventually over time, my arm-balancing practice became more steady, more balanced and I gained confidence.
Realizing the difference between what doesn’t serve my body and what is just thought patterns, took quite some practice, as this can be easily confused.
The closer I listened to what my body, my ego, my thoughts really told me, the easier it was to listen to what feels good and the better I got to know myself.
It felt like with the growing confidence, the strength came back into my wrists, into my body and by now I feel even ‘good enough’ to teach those Asanas.

Is there a thing, that you would like to do, but are too afraid of trying? Because you are not good enough in this or that, not strong enough, not tough enough, not adventurous enough, not educated enough, not intelligent enough? (I could go on with the the list of ‘not enough’s’ for longer). And of course the arm-balancing example is just one out of many situations in my life, where my thoughts keep tricking me into not believing in myself, but now that I’m aware of it, it is easier to decide against that harmful self-talk.
One thing is for sure – you will always find a reason not to do something.
But if you look the other way, you might as well find 10 reasons why it’s worth trying.

Movement, self-development

Tricky transition

I just attended a lovely Playshop by Sara Ticha (great Yogateacher and lovely, sweet soul) in Vienna. It was all about tricky transitions, and this could as well be the title for the chapter of my life, that I’m currently living in.
My life seems to be a constant chain of changes, chaotic, confusing and with a lot of adventure in it, while my friends slowly, but surely, start to settle down.
Watching my friends slow down often makes me question, wether I do something wrong, or at least, if I should try to “grow up”.
While my friends plan their weddings, houses and babies, I move to the the third “home” within a year, that I spent 5 months of abroad – so if you happen to need pro tips for moving -> hit me up! 😉
I am planning my 300 hr Yogateacher Training, while my friends think of where in the Caribbean their honeymoon should go to and I am about to start studying (first semester again, YAY!), while my friends graduate from master programs, have already had their doctorates or already got jobs in big corporate firm.

As you can see, there is a lot that separates me from others, that makes me “different”. Often I wish, that it would feel right for me to go in the direction everyone else seams to move towards, but it just doesn’t. And this feeling of separation, of being different makes extra vulnerable.

I am (still) learning to accept my authentic path, sometimes it works better, sometimes it doesn’t, but since I’ve incorporated more playfulness into my tricky transitions, either in my own Yogapractice or in life in general it all gets easier. I am more gentle with myself, more accepting and I approach myself with more loving kindness, either in my Pincha, or while moving places like a gypsy. So if you are at a point in life, where you can feel the tricky transitions coming in, try not to neglect them, because that means you stand in your own way of living an authentic life. Instead, just for the sake of trying, welcome it in like a kid, in a playful manner, with excitement instead of fear and without caring about anyone judging, especially that voice in your head.

Health, self-development

Self talk

Take a few moments and check in with yourself.
How did you treat yourself today? On the outside, as well as on the inside.

Did you give your body some breaks, some rest, where it could regain the energy spent during a busy day. What did you do for your body to stay healthy and feel good?
Some movement, a bubble bath or a nice foot massage?

As important as taking care of our body, is taking care of our inside, our mental health, our heart and soul. What is it you did do for your inside? Meditation, a walk in nature, some reading?

How is your perception of other people, compared to how you see yourself?
Probably you are way harder on yourself than you are on other people.
What is it you think of yourself, how do you talk to yourself.
Try to reflect on that for a day, write down how you speak about yourself. Phrases like “silly me” or “sorry, I am an idiot” are more common than you might think. Write the thoughts and phrases down to remember and read through it at the end of the day. ALERT – You might be shocked.
When I first tried that I was absolutely outraged by myself. There was not much loving kindness involved  in my self-talks or let’s even call it self-judgement, and oh my, what a strict judge I was.
And this made me become the prisoner of my own thought punishments.
For my own standards I was never good enough, fast enough or worthy enough. What stunned me most, was that I actually thought I had a good opinion on myself until I looked closely. The truth I found there left me speechless and made me reflect on what it was that I judged so harshly in my behavior, in my looks, in my profession, in my being.

Writing down my self-talk and the thoughts I had about myself really opened my eyes. I still do that “exercise” from time to time to check-in again and to work on my self-love-ability.

If you feel like you could need a little more self-love from time to time, I can warmly recommend looking on the inside as closely as caring for the outside. I know it might not feel as good as a spa day at first, it might feel more like work, but I promise you, when the work is done, you will be left with the warmest feeling for yourself.

Health, Retreat, Yoga

Retreat Yourself

Stop for a second. Breathe. Just be.
Feel how your nervous system instantly calms down and how you can create space inside?
Imagine you had time to just focus on this for days.
Imagine how much space you could make for yourself, how you could reconnect to the subtilest of feelings inside.
Imagine how you could feel your power rising from your roots, from mama earth up to the sky. Feel yourself expanding.

If you only had time.
The thing is, there will never be enough time to sit, explore, feel.
There will never be the perfect moment to surrender to yourself.

You have to take this moment.
You have to make time for yourself.
You have to own your time.

For me it’s difficult to get this deep connection at home, where there are so many things that take my attention away. There is always something I should rather do, than taking care of myself. There is always someone who reaches out for me, there is every-day-life coming in the way.

I invite you to join me on a journey to the higher self in a holy space.
Let me guide you through a gentle yoga practise, self exploration workshops, juicy yin classes and so much more.
Let’s meditate together in the beautiful Austrian Alps and create some magic.
Let’s have fun like kids and treat our bodies like a temple.
Let’s eat food that nourishes us.
Let’s stop.
Let’s breathe.
Let’s be.

Don’t miss it -> 23.05 – 26.05. 2019 in 5640 Bad Gastein, Austria.

Drop me a message for more information on it.
Your body and soul thank you for it.